you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
