Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
