We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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