so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
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Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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