It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Randomize
