i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
