did you get engaged???
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just want nice things and good sex
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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