If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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