4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
