I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
