some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
