end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
she peed on how many people?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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