he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I love you. Go after that dick
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
