Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
my poor anus
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
