You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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