Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
