bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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