3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
