apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
