i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
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We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
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There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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