a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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