their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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