you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
