i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
