I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
