just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
