How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
