...so i touched it.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
