Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
