marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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