yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
