using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
