Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
this is an emotional support booty call
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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