they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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