I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
