He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
