White coat. Heels.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
