At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Holy shit dude........stairs
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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