And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
