He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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