Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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