1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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