plz talk dirty to me
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
