i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
