I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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