i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
