Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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