are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize