Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
