dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
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he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
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Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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