You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
