If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i've created a new STD.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
