A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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