There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize