You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
