I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
3pm strippers are depressing
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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