White coat. Heels.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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