Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
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why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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