She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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