so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
